Woman Condemned

Dastardly day of disappointment… I’m crushed. I had my heart set on meeting Dog the Bounty Hunter Sunday.I interviewed him a few years back for our local paper, The Saturday Independent. Just my luck they have cancelled their trip here. I could travel 4 hours to Chattanooga or Columbia but I don’t see that happening with all 6 kids. Sigh… I so admire Dog and Beth and the hard work they put in to help people, even though they have been or are in trouble. They seem to be a few of the few. You know, those that realize that just because a person has made mistakes in life doesn’t make them something you have scraped off the bottom of your shoe. Your best life starts after you know better.

I was asked today why I focus on the women on the row and not all prisoners on the row. (Hiya Skylark and Big Lin!) I suppose other people have wondered this too. I knew a very special woman who was killed on death row. I was a juvenile delinquent. I have been in some pretty hairy situations in my younger years. I have seen devastating abuse, Ive seen evil, vicious acts. Ive been in jail. I have seen some horrific things happen to people just because they were prisoners. Women in particular. Because of these experiences I can sometimes look at a woman who has committed a crime and understand where she came from. Why her mind was in that state and how she could become the creature that committed the crimes. Even those kinds of crimes that your government can kill you for.

Besides fighting for womens rights and the rights of women inmates Im a mom and a writer. Im always looking for mom sites that can appeal to all angles of my personality. I found Five Minuets for Mom last year and have been a reader ever since. I like it because its  not all sappy and silly. Its more than just talk about things kids do and soap operas and house cleaning. There are relevant articles that really help. They are currently giving away an HP desktop that freaking rocks.

My dad has a substance abuse problem. He is addicted to narcotics. He eats pills by the handfuls. He'll then fall asleep on the couch with a cigarette. Or he'll try to talk to you and not make a bit of sense. Just blurbs and blobs of odd consonants. I am usually the one to view this activity because he will not do it around other people in the family. Does this make me an enabler? Probably. I suppose. When my mother died it left a great big gaping hole in all of our lives. He has steadily gotten worse. He sat in front of me today and said "I'm fixin' to take your brother and make a straight gaited criminal out of him." I shivered. It sent waves of frozen terror through me. I know that he will try. My brother in question is currently waiting out an undetermined amount of time in our local county jail. Charges all stemming from his own addiction to the very same drugs. Hmmm.... He sat in front of me and told me he was going to live a complete crimin

My mom has terminal lung cancer. She was diagnosed in January and told she had 18 months. Now today,4 months later, she has had chemo and radiation and suddenly her prognosis is now 30 days. I dont understand it. I sit at her side everyday. Somedays she apologizes to me. She tells me how she could have been a better mother, but that isnt true. Some days she is angry. Angry because I cannot help her and she isnt ready to die. Angry because she smoked for 40 years and knew better every time the match lit. Some days she is happy. Her mother and father passed years ago and she looks forward to a reunion. And some days she is in agony. Pushing the button on the morphine pump until it quits beeping. I sit at her side and cry. Sometimes we laugh hysterically, like mad women. At something she says or does. Sometimes we hold each other tightly and cry. There are days that I wonder if I can go in that room. I feel like if I have to look at her slight, 80 lb frame once more I will begin to

Am I still a writer when all Ive written for a month is a whole truck load of press release internet regurgitation infomercials? I needed the money. I made more money this week than my husband made all month. I took another assignment of them. 21500 words in two weeks.It takes a toll on the house when I do this. Nothing runs very smoothly and of course that is my fault. No one has clean clothes and the dished pile up. I get more and more stressed as the deadline comes near. I need a better plan or a more efficient routine. The three big kids are in school during the day, leaving three little ones here with me. I would like to loose 20 lbs in the next 12 weeks. I wonder if thats possible. There are so many other writing projects that I want to get in line for before the end of the month and I still have press releases to go. Should I be writing instead of blogging? Should I be playing with the kids instead of writing? Maybe I should be finishing the Catholic Home Study Course

I love watching 70's detective shows like Starsky and Hutch, Chips and BJ and the bear. But I really love The Rockford Files. I am mesmerized by the clothes, cars and turns of phrase. I marveled today as Jim stood at a cigarette vending machine next to a playground and pushed 70 cents into the slot for his pack of Lucky Strikes. The bad guy wore a orange, striped suit with a yellow shirt and fat dotted green tie. His lapel reached his sholders. I like Rockfords bit of wit here and there and the tough guy talk. "You laid some bad paper on me, lady" he told a woman whose check bounced. That shit tickles the hell out of me. Why is that ya think? My letter to Antoinette Frank went out today. She told me some time ago about her father molesting her and the anger she had for her mother. But her last letter said that she visited her at christmas and things were much better for her. I watched an A&E documentary on the prison she is in. The interviewed her and gave

I picked up the police reports from the jail today. I usually do this on Wednesdays for my job at the newspaper. I go into the jail and they let me back in the little room beside the booking cell. Usually its a fun time when this silly young cop named Tudor makes me laugh and I marvel at this young woman cop's British accent(what in the hell is she doing HERE of all places!!..) and I socialize and bullshit with the cops and the Captain. But today they brought in a girl while I was there. She was wailing and crying and hysterical. The young British cop chick had to don gloves and pat her down and the poor girl wailed like a squashed cat. I felt so sorry for her. It gave me an odd feeling seeing all these police officers Ive grown to see as fun and cool people turn cold and business-like. Sure I know its their job but I couldnt help feeling creeped out by it. Its kinda like the feeling I get watching the Sopranos. I love Tony and Christopher. I admire Carmella's big masion