Imposter Syndrome - What do you have in common with serial murderers?

 

We all doubt ourselves from time to time. It is a healthy way to challenge ourselves and learn to be more resilient. A healthy sense of self-doubt keeps us in check with our goals and is a constant reminder of what we need to do to accomplish them.

If we doubt ourselves too much, however, it can cause problems in all areas of life. Self-doubt can be crippling if it isn't controlled. In fact, many serial murderers begin because of this crippling self-confidence issue. That's just an excuse, of course, since thousands of people experience it but don't turn to violence. For some people, however, it's the thing that sets them over the edge. Fortunately, there are many ways to master suffocating self-doubt and turn it into sustenance for the soul.

Imposter Syndrome

Self-doubt can be so overpowering it has its own moniker, Imposter Syndrome. This occurs when every fiber of your being tells you that your successes are pure luck. You truly believe that your skill, ambition, and drive just don't cut the mustard. You have made it as far as you have on pure providence.  

Deep down inside you know this is a bunch of hooey, but in the middle of a bout of self-doubt it is impossible to rally enough confidence to roll out of bed. This is where the battle begins. You've named your enemy and now you must fight it.

The most important weapon in your arsenal is one simple fact; it is only true if you believe it.

Your Past Does Not Define Your Future

Regret, remorse, and shame from past mistakes are some of the biggest triggers of self-doubt. It doesn't take much. One sliver of a shameful memory will throw you into a pit of despair. Confidence flies out the window and your left doubting yourself on every front.

While this is a normal feeling, it should last only a fleeting second before you remember all the progress you have made since then. The past does not define the future. You have the ability to change your path every moment of the day. Look instead to the goals you have smashed and improvements you've made.

Don't Play the Comparison Game

Comparing yourself to anyone else is never a smart move. It's easy to see Insta pics and tweets from someone you admire (or loathe) and feel like you must be doing something wrong. It's a trick. Don't fall for it. The only thing people show on social media is the highlight reel of their life. You don't see the failure or struggle. Self-doubt creeps up fast.

A better strategy is to compare yourself to yourself. Look at where you were 10 years ago, last year, or last month, and compare it to your current circumstances. Check off the tasks you've accomplished and how far you've progressed toward your goals. Nothing chases away self-doubt like a pat on the back for a job well done.

Put Things in Perspective

 People have a tendency to be self-absorbed. We can easily get sucked into a thought loop that keeps us at the center of the universe. In reality, other people don't think about what we say or do as much as we think they do. They are busy attending to their own thought loops where they are the center of the universe.

Everyone has those off moments when they stick their foot in their mouth or otherwise mortify themselves. Self-doubt rushes in to replay the incident over and over until you never want to show your face in public again. Put things in perspective. In the grand scheme of things, its just not that important.

Realize that Setbacks are Temporary

No human life has ever consisted of a series of wonderful moments. Things don't always go as planned. Disasters strike. Setbacks occur. Change is the nature of the universe and nothing lasts forever, not even your biggest mistake.

Realize that setbacks are only a temporary stall in your major plan. The only way to succeed is to learn from your failures and move forward with your new knowledge. Pummel self-doubt with pure determination to get back on track.

 Celebrate the Small Wins

Give yourself a pat on the back every time you deserve one. Don't be stingy. Even the smallest win deserves accolades because it moves you closer to your goals. Self-doubt is strongest when you lose sight of your purpose. When you forget why you're on the journey, you begin to find reasons you should stop. Celebrate small wins to constantly remind yourself of your goal and the real purpose of your journey.

Talk About It

Telling someone else what you are going through has a miraculous ability to defuse self-doubt. Once you put those detrimental thoughts into words, you hear how unrealistic they sound. You begin to see the debilitating thought loop you are putting yourself through.

You also get the benefit of another perspective. Seeing a problem through someone else's eyes helps you find solutions you were overlooking. You don't have to talk to a therapist or doctor, just someone you trust.

Be Grateful

Gratitude is a catchphrase these days. Its plastered on everything from home décor to bumper stickers. Truly being grateful is a life-changing experience. Sit and think of all the things that make you happy in your life and how you would feel without them. Family, home, and small comforts suddenly mean much more than you usually give them credit for.

Make it a point to be grateful for something every day. It doesn't matter if it rained all day, you had a flat tire, and over drafted your bank account.  You're alive. You're a good person. That's enough.

Self-doubt in small doses is a healthy part of life. It is a vital part of personal growths and triumphs. Self-doubt provides us with humility enough to keep us from marching headlong into every endeavor supremely confident of future success. It gives us a self-awareness that is necessary to survival.

It's easy to let self-doubt creep in when we're feeling down or disappointed. Nip it in the bud quickly. Don't let it hang around. Use any or all of the techniques we've talked about to tackle it head-on. You've got better things to do.